Flightplan (2005)
Jodie Foster, Peter Sarsgaard
I’m not sure who to feel more sorry for in this move: Jodie Foster, who can’t figure out what was painfully obvious to me within 20 minutes (the identity and plan of the bad guy) or her daughter, who is routinely ignored by Jodie. Seriously, are there any parents out there who would allow their child to stray away from them in an obviously crowded airport in a foreign country?? Probably.
If you were on crack and were meeting your dealer for your next score.
As if that wasn’t enough to have child services knocking on her door, she put her daughter in a row by herself to sleep, while she blacks out in the next row. Isn’t this what actual crack addicts do?? Pass out after a night partying only to awaken and find that their kids are missing. Did I miss the part of the movie that explained Jodie’s smack addiction??
I’d also like to point out a few things to those that have never flown internationally:
1) There is no way someone in coach is boarding before fist class. Coach passengers are treated as second class citizens on international flights. Plus, they want you to board after first class so that you can walk through first class and see them sipping champagne, eating steak, getting massages and being given briefcases of money from the flight attendants. Makes you feel real good about the 9 hour flight sitting between the crying baby and the fat, sweaty guy whose routine breathing sounds like a 20 year old lawnmower on its last legs.
2) The seats on a real international flight are not near as big as those depicted in the film. In a real coach seat, parts of Fatty McSweatsalot would ooze over into your seat throughout the duration of the flight. They make coach seats for 10 year old girls with eating disorders and dwarves, not for regular sized humans.
3) Every international flight I have ever been on has been jammed packed. Don’t count on there being 15 empty rows in the back of the plane for you to stretch out on and use to come down off your crack high. If there are, expect the flight attendants to defend those rows more fiercely than the Vietcong.
Movies that can be figured out in less than 20 minutes suck. So this one sucked.
